My wife opened a nice bottle of wine last night to let it breathe, but it wasn't, so I gave it mouth-to-mouth.
Cyberbilly
The Christmas economy depends on people buying possessions to celebrate the birthday of a man who denounced possessions.
Kelly Hyam
A load of books just fell on my head, I've only got my shelf to blame
Cyberbilly
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
So I won a contest. The prize was a year supply of calenders.
The saying "An apple a day, keeps the doctor away" is such a lie! If you have braces and eat an apple, you end up at the dentist the next day 'cause of a broken bracket.
Cyberbilly
I have a certain way with words. You might say I'm a cunning linguist.