Brenna Mullally
"Friendship is like peeing yourself; everyone can see it but only you get that warm feeling."
Whenever I want to use Airplane restrooms or Wall Street, it's always the same story...."Occupied."
Steve Jobs was born out of wedlock, put up for adoption at birth, dropped out of college, then changed the world. What's your excuse?
Old MacDonald had a really bad scrabble hand. E-I-E-I-O
Does Hallmark make a Get Well card for a boss that suggests they take their time with it?
If I were one of those kids listening to the story, I would've interrupted by now and said, "Dear god, WHEN Did You Meet Our Mother?
On Twitter, never judge a hot woman by his avi.