Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why would anyone become a meteorologist when we've got perfectly good computer models that are never right?
There were so many substance abusers at last night's VMAs that Dr. Drew taped an entire season of "Celebrity Rehab" from the audience.
I don’t think I have a problem!” is the only response to anyone suggesting you might have one.
The job interviews for marketing at mobile phone vendors must be fun. "How many beers does it take before you begin to have trouble keeping track of items on the counter or table?"
Truthfully, women carry Kleenex so just in case we run into Quentin Tarantino we can make him blow his nose and stop talking like that.
A stupid driver cancels out a smart car.