I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.
Tom
Just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap.
Tom
So glad I don't have a thigh gap. Almost dropped my phone in the toilet but my legs were like "no man I got you".
Tom
Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries. It fills you up nicely but without the buzz.
I'm lucky to be broke at a time when minimalism and sustainability are in style.
Xyuppi
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
According to science the atoms in my body contain the energy of 30 hydrogen bombs, and yet, not enough energy to get up early and go jogging.