A bachelor party is more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
Xyuppi
Kid's Choice Awards are a great reminder why children aren't allowed to vote.
Xyuppi
I've never heard an alarm going off on a car worth stealing.
It's not that I like watching midget porn, it's just that my phone screen is too small to watch regular porn.
Xyuppi
Daylight savings time feels like a tax refund check. You're just getting back something you didn't want taken from you in the first place.
Lots of people waiting in lines today. Did a new iPhone just come out?
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.