WTF Statuses

The boss keeps talking about a company 401k. I don’t think I can run that far...
I'd share my Netflix login but I'm too embarrassed by "My List".
Don't ask me how old I am on my birthday. It'll make me feel old and hate myself rather than be happy that it's my birthday.
You're one of a kind! Thank goodness...
What if there's no such thing as the Placebo Effect, and instead, sugar just actually cures everything?
Thank you for calling the hug hotline. Please hold.
#16416
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PizzaDr
You know you're old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
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