My wife and I decided not to have children. The kids are taking it pretty hard.
Movies are so unrealistic. This guy’s using his computer to access an alien ship & not once has it asked if he wants to upgrade Adobe Reader…
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
I was going to go to the movies today, but the theater is closed because the owner died. The funeral will be held tomorrow at 12:30....2:15....4:45....and 7:20.
I'm not depressed. I'm really happy and suffer from emotional dyslexia.
With a top speed of 27.44 mph, it is illegal for Usain Bolt to run in a school zone.
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.