WTF Statuses

They call cat people crazy but they're not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
Roasting marshmallows is great because it combines dessert and playing with fire.
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Florida
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were 2 separate events.
My wife just left me alone with two kids which makes her a terrible parent.
I've spotted six Pokémon today but I don't have the game so I may need new meds...
Is a bath relaxing for Michael Phelps, or does he just feel like he is at work?
I was disappointed to learn that ‘landlady’ isn’t the opposite of a mermaid.
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