WTF Statuses

It takes many nails to build a crib, but just one screw to fill it.
I used to be a hipster back before anybody else knew about them.
I'm gonna give that Stitch a Lilo. Stitches love Lilos.
Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
Whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called "fun sized" should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.
Spooning leads to forking.
Kidnapping? I prefer the term "surprise adoption".
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