WTF Statuses

You know you're non-domesticated when the only reason you finally transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher is so you can gain access to the garbage disposal.

If you say the word "douche" fast and repetitive, it will sound like the beat of a techno song.

Earn extra cash from superstitious strangers by placing a wishing well in your front garden.

I'm combining Easter and April Fools day this year - I'm sending the kids out to look for eggs I haven't hidden.

I thought I was having déjà vu, but it turns out I do the exact same things every day

I was kidnapped by a pack of mimes. They performed unspeakable acts on me.

I've been texting so much lately that I move my thumbs from side to side when I'm actually talking to someone.