You texted me, one time . . . this is about the time you text me again .
I can't believe I'm replacing sex with buying things. Not good
I just bought a 30pack of toothbrushes because it was on sale 4 $3.99, This is a sign of old age, WTF am I going 2 do with 30 tooth brushes
Forget the “poke” button… I want a “Punch someone in the face so they know how dumb they really are” button.
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don’t get it. Moving on.
Understand that while you're partying, people like me are trying to get ahead in life taking YOUR spot.
I've never seen a tombstone that read: "Died from not forwarding that text to ten people."