Xyuppi
When I'm not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
Xyuppi
Laughter is the best medicine. But, if you're laughing without any reason, you need medicine.
Xyuppi
Most people decide to have scramble eggs immediately after thinking: " I'll just flip this omelette "
Jon
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been..." "Ma'am, please just vote and exit the booth.
Xyuppi
The bouncer from my local nightclub calls me Macauley Culkin because I always go home alone.
Xyuppi
I have faith that your future won't include you being a crazy cat lady, just because you're more of a dog person.
Xyuppi
Just about the time when you think you can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.