The best thing about dogs is that you can act like something really good just happened and they’ll instantly start celebrating. They have no idea what the context is, they're just always ready to party.
Xyuppi
You know it's already September because people keep posting "Wake me up when September ends"
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Xyuppi
Nothing beats a good drum solo on your steering wheel while you're waiting for the light to turn green.
Wine doesn't have many vitamins. That's why you have to drink a lot of it.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Xyuppi
I think my car horn should sound like gunshots..... I bet you'll move then.