rudyizcool
My life is so dull and boring, when my identity was stolen...it was returned back to me!
I always wonder if the people sitting near me at church every Sunday are unsettled by the fact that I take my communion like a shot of cheap vodka because I'm still in a party mode from Saturday night.
Microsoft is considering funding Uber. Just what we need, cabs with windows
I'll call it a smartphone the day I yell "Where's my phone?" and it yells "Down here! In the couch cushions!"
If a Burger King married a Dairy Queen, they would probably live in a White Castle.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
Sometimes the best thing about not caring, is knowing that the people who are angry with you are having a far worse day than you are.