It's funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I'm going to say stop.
#thedailyjeff
Say what you will about Kristen Stewart's acting abilities, but I'm willing to bet she'd kick some serious ass in a poker game.
Robert Zunick
Jellyfish have survived here on Earth for 650 million years without brains. Great news for most of you.
I wonder if spiders get as pissed off as I do when I walk through their webs.
Cyberbilly
I'm going to open a restaurant called "Peace and Quiet" where kids meals cost $150.
My doctor says I should eat more healthy, but we all saw how that whole apple thing went for Eve.
I need something that’s more than coffee but less than cocaine.