WTF Statuses

"Lord I have two of every animal on the ark..." *slaps mosquito on neck* "I have two of ALMOST every animal on the ark..."
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.
I don't have time to tell you how wrong you are. But I'm going to any way because it will bug me if I don't.
My electric toothbrush is broken so now I have to use my acoustic one.
"Teeter Totter" is the silliest name for toddler catapults.
Cereal is the sweatpants of food.
If I were a witch, most of my magic would revolve around making food appear with my wand and disappear with my mouth.
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