In the interest of fighting the childhood obesity epidemic, I've decided to eat all of the Halloween candy that I bought.
Novell
What do Eskimo's get from sitting on a block of ice? Polaroids.
Cyberbilly
I once dated a girl that was so bipolar that her mood ring acted like a strobe light.
Cyberbilly
And all this time I thought Ariana Grande was a drink at Starbucks.
My mom bought way too much candy this year since hardly any trick or treaters came to the house. I have boatloads of candy. If anybody wants some, message me so that I can tell you to f*&% off because it's all mine!
Nothing says "I’ve already given up on this day" quite like a Taco Bell breakfast.
Timbob D.
Just replied to an ad by a young woman looking for a co sleeper. Wow was I way off on what I thought she wanted.