I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.
Watching CSPAN is a lot like watching security camera footage from Mens Warehouse.
More Americans have been married to Kim Kardashian than have died from Ebola.
Do people who run voluntarily know that we're not food anymore?
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
Did you know a large group of baboons is called a Congress? Explains a lot doesn't it?
I need to get my birthday suit taken in.