When life gives you lemons... get the tequila and salt.
Why do they even offer 2014 as an option when selecting your birth date? Like you’re fresh out of the womb ready to join Gmail.
Novell
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch yesterday.
Novell
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
Novell
If you’ve gauged huge holes in your ears and don’t keep Oreo cookies in them for snacks then what the hell’s the point man?
There is no life on earth without water. Because without water, there is no coffee. And without coffee, I'll kill you all.
It’s called a “remote” because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel.