When a cashier asks if you have a loyalty card just sigh and say, "My wife took everything when she left"
Robert Ryder
I always thought putting your finger on someone's lips and saying "Shhhhhh... Not another word" was super-romantic; apparently the judge didn't think so.
Robert Zunick
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
Cyberbilly
Success is 1% inspiration, 98% perspiration and 2% attention to detail.
Using my phone after the low battery warning comes on is as close as I'll get to dismantling a bomb.
Xyuppi
I have done some truly amazing things to get the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.
Xyuppi
I fought a very valiant spider in the shower this morning. I admired his boldness and will. But unfortunately he chose his arena poorly. For when I am in the shower I become mighty Poseidon, God of the Seas. He didn't stand a chance.