Amigo
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
Amigo
If Facebook isn’t a drug then someone please explain to me why I sneak into the bathroom at work to use it.
Amigo
The way you feel when your phone dies is exactly how Cinderella must have felt at midnight
I believe pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens
It used to be acceptable to make fun of fat people, and now, we're all fat. I hear karma fat is the hardest to lose.
If you're ever attacked by a mob of clowns, go for the juggler.
I eat the first half of a burrito to get full, I eat the second half to teach myself a lesson