The sign said tipping appreciated. Yeah right, Waitress seemed pretty pissed when she got back up.
Cris
My friend wanted to meet someone the old fashioned way, so I offered sheep and land to a man she didn't know if he agreed to take care of her.
Cris
The FAA has now banned tweezers aboard airplanes. Personally I think anyone who can hijack a plane with tweezers deserves the plane.
Cris
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
Cris
I think alarm clocks would be more effective if they woke us with motivational phrases like, "OMG, a SNAKE!" or, "THERE ARE ONLY 2 PIECES OF BACON LEFT!"
Amigo
I wanted to lose 10 lbs this year. Only 13 more to go!
Amigo
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders