WTF Statuses

If a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its back, I’m calling bulls*** on an overweight baggage charge.

Orgasms are a lot like pizza. As long as I have pizza I don’t really care if you don’t have any pizza.

Karma has no menu. You get served what you deserve.

You never outgrow sleepovers, they just become coed.

You should be able to park in an “expecting mother” parking space if you’re waiting for your mom.

Follow your dreams. Unless it’s a person. ..apparently they call THAT stalking.

Mom always said not to write on walls…but apparently on Facebook you can.