Amigo
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job
Amigo
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: “Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
Amigo
I love sleep because its like a time machine to breakfast.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
If there's a bar where everybody knows your name, you're probably an alcoholic.
I wonder if Eric Clapton really thought she looked wonderful or if it was just the 27th outfit she'd tried on & he didn't want to be late to the party.
Unlike milk, it is acceptable to cry over spilled beer.