Screw the road less traveled...it doesn't have 3G.
Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to, unless you're in prison.
Laughing for no reason is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason do you really need medicine?
If you're drinking by yourself but you are also on Facebook, it's not really drinking alone right?
I bet Jesus gets sick of the amount of wall post alerts he gets on Christmas.
The soundtrack in Hell is the Glee version of your favorite song.
She plays hard to get, I play hard to get rid of.