Florida
Ice cream truck driver is the only profession where's its socially acceptable to drive to neighborhoods and lure children.
Joe Exotic doesn't sing Christmas songs because he f#$king hates Carols
It's funny how when I see someone on the internet say "taking it for granite", I have an impulse to hit them with a rock.
BREAKING: eBay has downgraded the United States's feedback rating to AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA+++++++++++++++++++ GREAT SELLER!!!!!
Woke up to gun shots this morning. Luckily my wife has horrible aim.
Wanna get some amusement today? Tell your mom to make sure she rewinds that DVD before she puts it away.
Before you repeat yourself, I think it's only fair for me to inform you that I won't be listening to you this time either.