I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?
If I were a movie villain I'd make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
Everything’s bigger in Texas. That's why I do all my sexting there.
Amigo
Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.
I was NOT taking a selfie. I was showing off my new bathroom mirror!
I've got an idea for a celebrity cereal line: Macklesmores, Justin Timberflakes, & Snoop Loops.
Amigo
Men have feelings too. For example, we feel hungry.