There are dozens of different flavors of ramen noodles, but they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
“Can I pet him or will he bite?” is a fun thing to ask parents that keep their kid on a leash.
Technically, every picture is a before picture.
Turns out, I'm not an afternoon person either...
I wish I had somebody to blame all of my problems on, like my wife does.
They say don't burn bridges you may have to cross later, but I don't mind swimming if the bridge is already broken.
Tattoos are an expensive and painful way to ensure that the police are always able to make a positive identification.