A roman walks into a bar. He holds up two fingers and says "Five beers please."
Beer comes from hops. Hops are plants. Beer is liquid salad.
VSnake
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God, I could be eating a slow learner...
VSnake
I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice from a gorilla. It's people I don't trust.
If "The Shining" came out today, it would be two hours of Jack Nicholson browsing the internet.
You know you're lazy when you get excited about canceled plans.
I'm probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.