"I didn't get your text" is the new "my dog ate my homework"
Geico could probably save you more than 15 percent if they stopped spending billions on advertising.
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
Checking your phone when someone pulls out their phone is the yawn of our generation.
I think my credit card looks weird. Could you send me a picture of yours so I can compare?
I hate when the Doctor asks awkward questions. "Are you sexually active?" Depends on what you mean by "active". There are plenty of "active" volcanoes that haven't gone off in over 50 years.