A kleptomaniac is just someone who can't help himself from helping himself.
I prefer the term "personal lint trap" instead of belly button.
Sometimes I wish you could order Karma like flowers and have it delivered.
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don't judge me."
Surround yourself with people who make you laugh until your abs hurt. That way you never actually have to work out.
Just bought a car with the money from my swear jar.
I have always wanted to start a brand of Christian themed lollipops and call them Catho-licks.