If my body is a temple, it is to an angry and vengeful god.
I'm scotch-tape-and-toilet-paper-for-bandaids poor.
Popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $4. watching your friends bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
You know your getting old when your friends start getting pregnant on purpose.
What's a burnt pizza, frozen beer & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario there was an idiot who didn't take it out in time.
I'm rapidly approaching the age where I will be asking myself each new year, which will I break first? My resolution or my hip?
Still no cure for natural causes.