At the dentist and they've left me all alone. They've also gotten really good at hiding the nitrous. :(
I wish I had three hands so that I could flip people off inside of air quotes.
When I find out that my friends have diarrhea, I tickle them.
"If it ain't broke, break it." - Facebook programmers
Ever visited the retirement home and wondered if you could IRON some of those folks' wrinkles out? Well, the short answer is "no, you can't"
I think the disaster we're most over-prepared for is the floor turning to lava.
I saw a mosquito stand on my arm and let it bite me while I just stared and said "is it in yet?" to make it feel insecure about itself.