Don't hit people with glasses. Use your fists.
I wonder if Flo from the Progressive commercials has a nephew. If she does, I feel kind of bad for him. I mean, its gotta be a little awkward telling his friends that his Aunt Flo is coming to town.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
I should have known my son was stealing from his road construction job, but every time I came home I guess I just ignored all the signs.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
The iPhone is like the fast and the furious movies. They're up to six and it doesn't look like they'll stop pumping them out even if its the same thing.
How awkward it would be for the Pro Football Team in San Francisco if that gold rush would've happened 20 years later...