WTF Statuses

I don't understand why people get angry when someone breaks up with them by text. I used to break up with people by never talking to them again.
You don't realize how inappropriate your favorite TV show is until your mom comes in to watch it with you.
Watched five movies on Netflix last night and now my "recommended for you" queue is "pay some bills" and "clean the bathroom"
The royal baby was honored with a 41-gun salute today. Unfortunately, it happened right after Kate finally got him to sleep.
Mermaids swim by twerking...Do you ever just think about that?
Relationships are weird. "you're funny and smart" eventually turns to "you think you know everything and everything is a joke to you".
One of the ironies of parenting. You teach your kids to be strong and independent. But when they are strong and independent with you, it pisses you off. Be careful what you wish for.
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