Don't try to understand women. Women understand women and they hate each other.
I want to give up coffee, but I'd hate to do that to my coworkers.
Why the hell are nipples so important? You could have all the boob you want hanging out, but if the nipple comes out all hell breaks loose
I gave her four orgasms but they were all mine.
I defy you to see a motorcycle with a sidecar and still be in a bad mood.
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
If "she'll be riding six white horses when she comes", she's probably a little more woman than you can handle