Cris
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR". What's my mother going to do?
Amigo
Just found this new app that tells you which of your family members are racist. It's called Facebook.
Tyler Johnson
Aaron Hernandez. This guy's going in as a tight end and coming out a wide receiver.
How to discipline your child: 1. Politely ask them to stop. 2. Yell. 3. Yell louder. 4. Repeat yourself 74 times. 5. Give up and drink.
Full House had the whitest tanners in California.
Diet status: smelling the maple syrup on someone else's plate.
Dave Asten
Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I`m facing sexual harassment charges.