Dear girls who have been dumped, There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead. Sincerely, BP
Herman Cain has now denied more sex than I've had.
There's a nasty rumor going around that I start rumors.
I spend 40 hours a week in the friend zone, therefore I'm entitled to benefits!
I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for everyone.
Whenever I panic about my eventual death I think "Someday an oldies station will play Ke$ha," and I'm no longer afraid.
The comment threads on YouTube are the trailer parks of the Internet.