Boobs are like the Sun. You can stare at them directly just for a few seconds, but if you put on sunglasses, you can stare as much as you want!
I'm not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them.
I don't get why people find drunk texts so annoying. You're the person they're thinking about, even when their brain can't function properly.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
Got my night planned. Taking the DirecTV remote outside, change the neighbor's channel to purchase porn, and watch him scramble to stop it.
The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
I HATE Fishing with Skrillex, He always Drops the Bass.