Cyberbilly
The feeling you get when a woman asks you to guess her age is like wondering whether to cut the blue wire or the green wire when defusing a bomb.
Going to a funeral of a very dear old woman. She was known as a great lover of animals owning a variety of parrots, cats, dogs, pigs, cows and horses. She was even an expert on varies types of Arachnids. Sigh. If only she didn't swallow that fly.
Justin Bieber has a monkey? Don't worry, he isn't turning into Michael Jackson, for one thing he already looks like a white female.
Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics.
The worst part of owning an invisibility cloak is trying to remember where you hung it up.
Nothing like someone posting a 7th grade photo of you on Facebook to bruise your ego.
I hate how funerals are always at like 9 or 10 AM. I'm not a mourning person.