We are hosting a charity concert for people who struggle to reach orgasm. If you can't come, let me know.
After saying, "What?" three times, you just have to agree.
I can't unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
At this point, it's impossible to "keep calm" and remember to do all the things those signs tell us to do.
How are middle schoolers sexually active? I wasn't even socially active. I'm still not socially active.. I'm not even active.
It would be pretty sweet if girls who get fake boobs also got loud horns implanted so they'd make cool sounds when you squeeze them.