There is no one more trustworthy than Clark Kent's dry cleaner.
What if Aliens have been trying to contact us through the internet, but "Are you human?" filters keep them out?
Cyberbilly
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
If I could pick 3 words that describe me, they would be "I suck at math"
I hate it when people throw cigarette butts in urinals. It makes them soggy, and hard to light.
Grammar is important! Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your Uncle jack off a horse.
You know you're all grown up when you actually pick up the ice cube instead of kick it under the fridge.