Cyberbilly
The final Twilight movie and Lincoln both opened the same weekend. One is about a shameful, dark chapter in our history we hope never will be repeated. The other is about a president.
Whoever said, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," hasn't met my dog. I told him to play dead and after five straight days he's still going strong.
Have you heard about the dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac? laid awake all night wondering if there really is a dog!
If UGGs made bras, would they be called jugs?
I wish the Mayans predicted the end of the world to be before finals week.
In response to the new Facebook guidelines I hereby declare that pressing alt+F4 will magically make all this go away.
If I ever write a suicide note, I’m going to start it off with “As of today, I am officially announcing my resignation…”