WTF Statuses

My Masseuse just read 'Cinderella' to me ~ That's the last time I ask for a happy ending.
Hey, wanna hear a joke about Nirvana? No? Nevermind.
It's not that I'm suicidal but jumping off a building onto a trampoline held by firemen sounds like so much fun.
Forget Bert and Ernie, it was Fred and Barney that had a gay old time.
The best part of my morning is when my cat curls up in my lap and falls asleep. I really don't want it to end. Hence the duct tape.
When the Space Shuttle lands, everybody wear ape suits.
The Libyan leader is dead...the attempt on Doc Brown's life has finally been avenged.
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