WTF Statuses

#2730
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Austin Mulka
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me OCD I'd have 27 dollars and 15 cents.
#2731
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Austin Mulka
1. Open fridge. Nothing to eat. 2. Open cabinets. Nothing to eat. 3. Lower standards and repeat.
I went to the doctors today because every time I drink tea or coffee I get this terrible stabbing pain in my eyes. He advised me to try removing the spoon from the cup.
#2733
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Austin Mulka
Did you hear about the two guys that stole a calendar? They each got 6 months!
What'sthislongbaronthekeyboardfor?
#2735
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Austin Mulka
America: Gets called fat and stupid by all nations, beats the crap out of them in the Olympics.
#2736
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Austin Mulka
No matter how big or bad you are, when a two year hands you a toy phone, you answer it.
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