The last day of the olympics should be all the gold medalists playing dodgeball until we have one ultimate champion.
Austin Mulka
YOLO is just Carpe Diem for stupid people.
Austin Mulka
A cop pulled me over and said "Papers" so I responded "Scissors I win!" and drove off.
To the woman in I saw in Walmart with the 7 screaming kids, if your wondering how that box of condoms got into your shopping cart "You're welcome."
When is it bad luck to have a black cat BEHIND you? When you're a mouse.
I think my iPhone is broken. I keep pressing the home button but I'm still at work!
I had a threesome last night. A couple of no shows, but I still had a good time.