Dave Asten
Just painted a blue square in my yard to trick people viewing Google Earth into thinking I have a swimming pool!
Dave Asten
Don't make fun of a fat guy with a lisp. He's probably thick and tired of it.
Dave Asten
95% of all Fords sold in the last 20 years are still on the road today. The other 5% actually made it home.
Dave Asten
Reading an article that said, "spice up your love life”. One of the suggestions was to make love in a car wash. It’s also the perfect way to ruin a church fund raiser.
God give me patience, because if you give me strength I'm going to need bail money too!
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data and...
They say a dog is a man's best friend, but I don't even have enemies that will look me dead in the eye while pooping on my carpet.