Face your problems, don't FACEBOOK your problems.
I have come to the conclusion, that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all of my missing socks.
I wish computer companies would design a keyboard with a removable crumb tray, kind of like my toaster.
Dave Asten
Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make! Then they call me ugly and poor...
Dave Asten
Whoever said “Procrastination doesn’t pay” CLEARLY has never seen my average day at work.
Dave Asten
I would switch cell-phone providers if one had an "unsend my drunk text" option.
Dave Asten
My wife and I got one of those board games for couples to spice things up. It quickly turned into a game of Sorry which led to me playing a game of Uno.