Wife: My gynocolagist says I can't have sex for two weeks. Husband: What did your dentist say?
Sometimes I wonder what I would do for a Klondike bar
I believe in karma. That means I can do bad things to people all day long and I assume they deserve it.
Snakes are just tails with faces.
A video of humans having sex is pornography. A video of animals having sex is a documentary.
Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for -- in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in it.
You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.