WTF Statuses

You know I never gave a second thought about the Mayan calendar being correct about the end of the world, but since Dick Clark died who the hell is going to host Rockin' New Years Eve?
Technology needs to hurry up, so I can unsubscribe to people in real life.
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.
You say my friends are immature, I say my friends are fun people.
When your pants are on fire the fact that you're lying suddenly becomes much less important.
I'm not suggesting Cher is a nazi, but at no point during "If I could turn back time" does she think about killing Hitler.
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you've got, watch him walk through a spider web.
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